If you ask Sam what he wants to be when he grows up he says he wants to be a “story reader.” We’ve settled on that being a narrator and I don’t doubt that someday he’ll do it! Tonight as I was getting Sam ready for bed I told him to run upstairs and grab a story for me to read to him. He replied, “Oh, how about you just tell me a story.” Not feeling in a very creative mood I recommended that he just go grab one instead. He replied, “Oh, I’ll just tell you a story then.” Luckily I had my keyboard handy and was able to transcribe what he was saying. Be forewarned, these stories make absolutely no sense, and I left out a lot of the repetition (since he would say the same line 3 or 4 times sometimes) but I thought it was a funny little view into Sam’s mind. Be warned that he switches between 3rd and 1st person without much warning and I tried to get some of the kid grammar pieces in there without fixing them. Enjoy :)
Once upon a time there was a little boy named me and I was very old, and very sick. And I couldn’t walk. Then he said “there’s mommy there’s mommy!” because he found Daniel, and pizza! That was too funny. Danny gets hungry then he starts filling his tummy with juice! And he says “More House, more house please?” And too much soda was there the next morning, and that was too silly! Now that Sammy had gone far far away it’s time to say “Go go go sliding turtle!” And Sammy said “jump turtle!” Then there was two teeny tiny wires that he flew an airplane with! Then he saw a parachute and he wanted to try to parachute and the people who had that airplane said “I want to learn how to parachute.” And one day he said “Gootey” in preschool because there were sparkles on his shirt, and that was so funny. Do you know that we wear some kind of headphones in the winter? They’re called “Weereovers” They clean all the snow out. And one day he was supposed to wear some but he didn’t have any. He only wore gloves and a coat and a hood and a chin protector and nothing else, not even a mask! I needed a mask. And that was silly. The end.
I have one more story! It’s from Danny. It’s with great pictures. Danny said, “One time there was a little boy named Danny and Danny said “No no no no no no no no no” and he said “Yes yes yes” and then he said “Around the block around the block, catch up to Sam around the block” And then he came and said “Ry Ry! Ry Ry! Ry Ry!” And then he saw pizza shop, and he said “pizza! pizza! pizza!” because he wanted pizza. And Sam said “Aw, we should have got some pizza for Danny, but we missed it.” And one time there was a little bit of splat in the blanket chest, and one time there was a little bit of crumbs. And then there was a bubble behind the couch! And then it popped, and then it goed around and then it keeped going around. Aw Turty is sick! And soda he drunk more and that made him more sicker. And he drunk more and more and more and more. And then something turned around and it went “tramp tramp tramp tramp” Then, it was all of it went “squish and squish and squish and squish”. And they tried to put it in the vorarator, he was having a hard time putting it in something. Then it went “Beep beep beep” The end.
There’s one more story! From you! It went “Smarties on the desk, smarties on the desk”, because there were smarties, on the desk! I’m really sad! I wanted to see you be a baby. And she ate more and more and more, and she never stopped. Do you know what will happen if you eat smarties? You’ll feel even smarter! And if you eat even more of them, you’ll feel even more smarter – as tall as this cup! And Danny kicked them out, and Mommy said “Noooo!” And she said “kick ball” and Danny kept kicking Mommy and she said “ow ow ow ow!” and that’s why Sam would hug her everywhere that Danny kicked her. That’s why Sam kept mommy up. Someone woke her up and she said “Bwom bwom bwom” and she said “close your mouth, close your mouth, please just close your mouth. Just wake up” and it was the Winevwom. The End.
There’s one more story from Daddy! It’s called Sam & Daniel & Dad Be Friends. When Sam and Daniel and Dad took pictures of friends skating on ice. Then there was a bird collector that collected people and putted people into the road. And then a car comed! And the bird collector told them to “stay there” and they saw me died! And then they would never come alive ever ever ever! And the friends said we’re never going to stop skating. And mommy said “I’m tired” so she went to sleep and then someone woke her up – it was the Wyver Cheetah and it was a bad guy! And she collected people in her bag. And I got out of the road and told the people to come out of the road and they listened and the bird collector told them to stay in the road but they just kept skating until they got across that snow. And then some lady saw a mountain and they saw where our house was. And it was enormously fine! And it was just a little hill and they took a little shortcut on that hill and it would lead them home! And they were free! The end.
There’s one more from my nightlight! There was Mom, and Sam and Daniel and Daddy went to work. And mom said “hey someone’s missing!” It was Dad! He was missing. And the cul-de-sac because they were stuck by a big snow bank and that’s why they went around the cul-de-sac out of the car, back into the car and drove back to where their home was. And she goed down stairs and a Triple Guy Mean got her. Then Sam went to Friday to ask for a game – he forgot a game! He was silly. I was a silly billy. And Mommy hurt all over her finger, and that’s why she had bandaids. The end!